Tis the season

I'm usually in a better mood over the holidays, but for some reason this year feels a little different. I don't know if it's because I'm still not sure of where I'll be next year, where I want to go or if I really have a choice to make. Nothing really jumps out at me as the definitive place where I should spend the next 5 years of my life --> which will take me through to the ripe age of 32. Kind of depressing that I'll be in my mid-30s before I really get into the real world and "start" my life.

I finished my last interview this week, and although I felt real confident (statistically I have a 4 out of 33 chance/300+ applicants but only 33 are interviewed) the whole "match" does not work in my favor. The whole premise is that the last interview, although it is probably one of the better programs, can only be utilized as a "back-up" for me if all my other options fall through. I could chance it and try to rank it, but then I'd lose out on all the other spots, and if I don't get it, I'll be left with nothing. It is a little complicated, and would be too long and boring to explain, so I'll skip the whole thing. Basically this entire process blows.

This month has been pretty laid back with my physical medicine and rehab rotation (PM&R). PM&R encompasses many different areas including inpatient patient rehabilitation for orthopedic procedure/problems, traumatic brain injuries, etc., electromyography(EMG)/nerve conduction and pain management. The clinic I am at does mainly pain management, my physician specifically does the EMGs and nerve conduction studies as well as various injections. The plus side is that I am not there for that many hours in the day, but the days drag on forever, and can be quite frustrating dealing with these patients. Maybe I have a low tolerance for people that complain about back pain and knee pain and they weigh 400lbs; instead of exercising they would rather the doctor "fix" them with narcotics. It blows me away. Half the time I just wanat to yell at them to suck it up and quit bitching, but that's not really kosher for the medical student to say to the patient.

The physician I am with is a very knowledgeable doctor, not only about medicine, but also business and worldly affairs. So on our down time, it's not so bad when we can just kick back and talk about non-medicine things. Which brings me to my latest focus with all the time that I've had recently--> history. It's amazing how much I have forgotten about the world around me and how it has come to the state of affairs that it is today. What sparked the interest was going to the Harry Truman museum/library here in KC with my little brother (Kendale - not sure if I've ever mentioned him before, but he's my "little brother" for the KC big brother program, kind of like what Rau did in college; some people say we are related, with his dark skin and afro puff).

Kendale w/cornrows

Kendale w/o cornrows

Anyways, the museum was a reminder of many important points in american history. Truman served in World War I, was president during World War II (including placing the order to drop the atom bomb), and set precedence for the events of the Cold War. He grew up just outside of Kansas City, and returned there after his presidency where he is now buried. After I left the museum, I realized that aside from American Histroy, I know very little about my own family history and that of the Vietnam War. Over the last couple days, that is all I've been reading and somewhat "preparing" so when I go home to the Couv on Friday, I can clear up "american accounts" of the Vietnam War, with that of those that lived and breathed it...my mom/dad/etc. The more I read about it, the more fired up I get, and part of me even becomes angry. It's hard to explain, but has so much similarities now with the war that is going on in Iraq.

Speaking of going home, I'm excited, and wish I had more time. It's been over a year since I've been back. It means a lot that Dook brought up the idea of possibly coming down to the Couv and visiting for a few hours. Last year Dook and Schaefer came down for a few hours around the same time before I went to my yearly family gathering. Wether he and others make it or not, it doesn't matter, the thought itself means a lot.

I'll be home this friday night until tuesday early morning...and I mean EARLY morning (1:00am is the flight out of PDX). I'll be in KC for two days and then I'll drive to St. Louis, where I'll leave my car and exchange my gear into another vehicle and drive to NYC with Jill to prepare for the New Year and my month in NY.

Well...enough of my babble for now; if by chance I don't get to post another blog soon because I'm just plain lazy....Happy Holidays.